Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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