whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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