omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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