Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need water and some morals
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
