Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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