when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
