Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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