Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
