Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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