I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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