i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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