So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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