There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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