I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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