The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
