We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize