Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
