why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
