she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
