i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
