3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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