that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
