Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
