Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cannot find my penis.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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