Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
