in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As shirtless as possible
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
