We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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