Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
