I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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