Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
