it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
