you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
