thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
