my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
