you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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