Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
