ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
