Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Holy shit dude........stairs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
