do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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