We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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