Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
