wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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