I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
