I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
