She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
organizing the empties. That sober.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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