Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
