I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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