is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Everything about him screamed your future.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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