I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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