Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
